What Type of Lover Are You?

how-to-have-better-sex lover-type personality-quiz love-language relationship-advice

You’ve heard of different love languages, but did you know that you could have a lover type?

When you take our sexual personality type quiz, you will learn your unique turn-ons, sex drive, and tips to improve your sex life.

Knowing Your Lover Type Can Help You

When you know what type of lover you are, you can increase your pleasure and learn how to effectively communicate with your partner(s). This knowledge will also help you understand your challenges in the bedroom and where to lean into your discomfort for a better sex life.

“Just like your general personality, your sexual personality is a mixture of nature and nurture. It develops partly from the traits you're born with, combined with the experiences you have, and cultural and religious influences,” explains Dr. Blair.

What if you and your partner have different profiles? Dr. Blair says, "Couples often fight about differences in their sexual personalities that prevent their needs from being met. But if you and your partner have very different profiles, it doesn’t mean that you’re incompatible. It just means you have different strengths, that you need to work on together.”

Take a sneak peek below to discover which one you identify with most.

Take Quiz

The Renegade

You’re turned on by sex in adventurous locations and get bored easily by routines.

About You: You like your sex spontaneously and are open to non-conventional partnerships and experiences. For you, pleasure comes first. You are an intense lover who is confident in the bedroom and likes to try new things.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: As a thrill-seeker, you may find yourself prioritizing pleasure over a deeper connection. Try taking a moment before acting when it comes to sex. Consider the long-term outcome.

The Altruist

You prefer to give pleasure more than receive it, and nothing turns you on more than seeing your partner's eyes roll back in pure bliss. “Acts of service” might be your love language.

About You: You’re a classic "giver." You consider your own orgasm secondary to your partner’s, so you have probably developed a strong sexual skill set. Nothing is hotter than seeing your partner lost in the throes of passion. If something isn’t quite clicking, you are quick to adjust and dial up the freaky factor.

You want a deep connection in your intimate relationships. For you, it’s not all about the physical part of sex. Mutual devotion and commitment matter, too.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: You can be a chameleon, taking on the same preferences as your partner, but are you bringing your own desires to the table? Listen to your body as much as your head. Masturbation can be a powerful tool to help work out what you want.

The Adventurer

You enjoy intense sex with your partner, and you love to explore your erotic side. You also prefer to do this in a relationship, and casual sex isn't really your cup of tea.

About You: You're bold and experimental, especially when you feel safe in a relationship. “For you, sex is a bonding experience,” explains Dr. Blair. “For a long-term partnership to thrive, you need wild sex and a deep emotional connection.”

How to Boost Your Sex Life: You're prone to boredom in a long-term relationship — but the sooner you can admit it, the sooner you can find imaginative solutions. Don't be afraid to spice things up with role-play or sex toys. For more ideas on how to keep things hot, check out our guide to Adventures In Sex.

The Judicious

You like to tease and be teased, building up to a slow reveal of your sexual skills. You're more likely to have phone sex with a long-distance partner than to ever have a one-night stand.

About You: You crave comfort, and need to feel close in intimate relationships to enjoy sex. But under the right conditions, you can be seductive and sensuous. You can be picky with partners, and when you sense the other person isn’t in it for the long haul, you're out.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: You're careful, but sometimes too careful! Don’t let your fear of rejection or judgment hold you back in bed. Make time for yourself and explore your own desires and fantasies. Learn to ask for what you want with lovers, as your partner may be missing your non-verbal cues.

The Romantic

You like being wooed with chocolates, hearts, and flowers. You want it all — the courtship, the first kiss under the moonlight, the sentimental first-time sex with a new partner.

About You: For you, sex is so much more than a physical act. You use it to deepen your bond within your relationship. According to Dr. Blair, you’re turned on by date nights and quality time. You want to feel the love, and your signature move is deep eye contact during sex.

You're reserved, so it can take you time to find a partner you feel safe with. You never want your lover to feel like a sexual object, so you take care to make them feel appreciated. When you do fall, you fall hard.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Don’t let your love of routine stop you from trying something new. Take small steps to experiment by trying new sexual positions or exploring erotica. Learn what feels good for you.

The Scholar

You like to be seduced and avoid taking risks.

About You: You are an attentive lover who is naturally reserved and happiest in a loving relationship. You like to be coached and guided by experienced partners, taking on the role of an apprentice. You prefer to follow your partner's lead and don't take initiative often, but you're great at reciprocating and giving mind-blowing pleasure.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Your natural tendency is to shy away from new sexual activities that seem risky, but sometimes it’s good to try new things! You tend to be on the quiet side during sex and may not articulate your sexual desires clearly. Try speaking up and ask your partner what they want, too.

The Charmer

You love to flirt, and you get bored waiting too long for sex with a new partner.

About You: You're free-spirited, fun, and friendly. Seduction is your specialty, and your open-minded approach leads you to pursue sexy experiences with new or even multiple partners. You're a magnanimous sexual being who would never judge others and you don't care what others think.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: You find date nights dull and prefer to fast-forward to the bedroom, which means that sometimes you might act before you think. Try to use your judgment to assess situations and people. Are you really enjoying yourself with that new person, or just responding to boredom?

The Philosopher

You get a thrill from reading erotica, and you only enjoy sex if there is a mental connection.

About You: You're imaginative, creative, and highly cerebral. You don’t have to wait for a partner to enjoy fantasies with you — and you can easily enjoy yourself while solo. You are probably already conscious of your own sexual desires, and you push boundaries in the bedroom by relying on your imagination.

Dr. Blair says, “You seek out novelty and adventure in your mind. However, the downside is that you can be reserved and often need time before exploring that with another person.”

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Try to move out of your mind and into your physical body. Practicing mindfulness and being present for pleasure can help.

The Ardent

You aim to please and have no time for flings that are dead-ended.

About You: Loyal and patient, you know what you want romantically and will make your partner feel safe and connected. Dr. Blair explains, “Ardents are introverts. They tend to prefer sex within the safety of a serious or romantic relationship.”

Falling in love and staying in love is a big part of your sexual experience. It’s the relationship that turns you on. But because you are a clear communicator who is never afraid to talk about sex your partner will always know where they stand.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Sex is an experience of the mind and body, but try not to overthink it too much. Close your eyes and notice the sensations you feel when you are touching or pleasuring a partner. Tune in to your body’s reactions to sexual stimuli.

The Muse

You like to be worshipped in bed, but you're not interested in pillow talk.

About You: Nothing excites you more than experiencing your own pleasure. For you, intimacy and connection are about receiving.

You're charismatic, and your sexual energy is off the charts. You prefer to express yourself with body language and gestures instead of words, and you know what will and won’t work for you. You need a partner who is willing to do most of the giving in bed and is receptive to your direction.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Try not to forget that your partner also has needs. You may be missing out on the experience of creating and witnessing sexual arousal in a partner.

The Sovereign

You like power play in the bedroom, as long as you’re in charge. You find it hard to let go and give in to your feelings.

About You: You're a sexual powerhouse. Dr. Blair says, “You like to be in control of when, and how, sex happens. You’re a master of giving pleasure and a confident lover. You guide your partner into the erotic and help them explore their sexual potential.”

How to Boost Your Sex Life: Try to think less about your next move or instruction to your partner, and focus more on the present moment and sensations. Why not let your partner take the lead so that you can focus on receiving for a change?

The Sensualist

You need instant chemistry to feel sexual arousal, but find it hard to talk about your sexual desires.

About You: You are a hedonist with a relaxed approach to sex. You trust your gut, and you view sex as an important part of your life. Massages, cuddling and kissing turn you on, and you love to explore different sensations of touch, temperature, and texture.

How to Boost Your Sex Life: At times you may get lost in the moment, forgetting about your partner’s pleasure. Try refocusing on them occasionally and learn what turns them on. Remember that not everyone speaks body language as well as you do. Verbal communication can go a long way for your partner to understand what you want, and how to expand on this.