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Many people feel their sex drive decreasing as they get older, but the causes are actually more varied than you might think. Your sex drive can be influenced by several factors both physical and psychological, ranging from certain health conditions to medications you take to simply being too stressed out or busy to have sex with your partner. Here’s an overview of some of the most common causes of decreased libido.
1) Age
As you get older, your interest in sex can change. But, don’t worry—it’s completely normal. Many things can contribute to decreased sexual desire including physical health issues, stress, and medications. It is important for people of all ages to check in with themselves about how their lives are going and what they want out of their sex life. If you find that your interests have changed or that your sex drive has decreased then it is important that you talk about it with your partner. Perhaps one or both of you feel unsatisfied, but aren't sure how to bring it up. By talking together and becoming more comfortable with communicating your needs, you can address whether or not you're comfortable with the current state of your libido and sex life.
The older we get, the more our drive will decrease because libido generally declines as we age, for men and women. Whether or not that decline is significant enough to warrant medical attention depends on each individual's situation. It may be perfectly fine to wait until a couple years after menopause before getting help if a person feels satisfied by having sex once every few months instead of once a week. If something feels off, make sure to talk to your doctor.
2) Sleep Patterns
While there are many reasons for a dip in your sex drive, not getting enough sleep is one of them. Getting adequate sleep has been shown to boost testosterone levels, which can increase your libido. It’s also an easy lifestyle adjustment you can make if you want to get back in touch with your desires. Just make sure you’re only sleeping seven to eight hours—sleeping more will actually decrease your sex drive! Finally, catching up on some rest in between workouts will also help keep your libido in check.
3) Diet and Exercise
Diet plays a big role in sex drive. If you are eating unhealthy foods that are high in sugar, your blood sugar levels will fluctuate greatly. This roller coaster of sugar highs and lows can cause severe mood swings, which could decrease your sex drive. The best way to avoid these drastic mood swings is by reducing your consumption of sugar and processed foods. And remember, there’s more to food than calories; get all of your nutrition from whole foods like fruits and vegetables instead. Nitrate-rich foods are great for healthy erections and getting your blood pumping in all the right places. Make sure you're also getting at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity every day to keep your heart and body healthy. For a new routine, try our sexercise workout to target all of the areas that promote sexual functioning (hello, pelvic floor!).
4) Stress
Stress can wreak havoc on your body and your sex life. If you’re under a lot of stress and don’t take time out to relax, consider adopting some stress-relieving habits like yoga or meditation. Make sure to eat well, too; having an empty stomach can negatively affect libido. If these practices aren’t helping then see your doctor for further help. Just remember not to have sex when high, low, drunk or tired because all of those scenarios increase your chances of unintended pregnancy and STDs.
5) Hormones
Testosterone levels peak around age 30, and then begin a gradual decline. This is partly responsible for a drop in sex drive that many men experience after their 20s. In addition, many of us get less sleep as we age, which can lower testosterone production and make you feel fatigued all day long. As a result, our sex drives decrease with age—and so does our libido. The best way to rev it up again: Pay attention to your diet. A healthy balance of fats, carbohydrates, and protein will help keep your metabolism up throughout the day. If you’re tired all day long from work or taking care of your family at home (or both), you might want to schedule more daytime sexual activity rather than nighttime intimacy. You’ll be alert enough for it—as well as have plenty of energy left over afterward!
6) Bad Sex
It has to be said: if the sex you're having doesn't make you want to keep coming back to your partner for more, it's natural for your interest to wane over time. If there's something you need from your partner, if you have a fantasy you'd like to explore, or you need to be touched differently (or for longer periods of time) to reach orgasm, make sure to communicate this. If your partner's libido has dropped and you can't remember the last time you focused on their pleasure, ask them what they need for a mind-blowing orgasm and incorporate this into your erotic activity when you have sex.
Want an expert's help with your sex drive? Book a coaching session in the Lover app or try our self-guided course, "Driving Up Desire." Download it here to get started.