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As Valentine’s Day approaches, most of us are thinking about how to make the day more romantic than ever. But as we get closer to the big day, it is important to remember that not every moment has to include red roses and fancy restaurants—in fact, some of the best moments of love happen between the sheets! For couples looking to kick up their bedroom games on Valentine’s Day and beyond, read on for 10 sex tips that will make your Valentine’s Day one to remember.
1) Use your imagination
If you are in a long-term relationship, you might feel your desire waning. Recultivating desire can take effort, but you can begin by sharing a fantasy with your partner. It can be anything from a small, “Hey, can we try being intimate in the living room?” Or, “I have a specific kink I would like to try. Can I explain it to you?"
Be open-minded and make sure your partner knows this is important to you.
2) Arouse your senses
Let your senses take you to new places. The more aroused you are, mentally and physically, the better sex will be. Try something new or visit a meaningful place, and see if it can arouse your senses. For example, if you and your partner had a special experience at a coffee shop in college before moving in together, try going back there on Valentine’s Day to get some extra inspiration and arousal before getting intimate with each other.
3) Breathe
Deep breathing can help calm your body and make you more consciously aware of how your body feels and moves. It can also increase blood flow and oxygen in your blood. This can heighten sensitivity in your genitals.
To start, place your hands on your torso, one on your chest and the other on your stomach. Begin taking long, slow breaths from your belly rather than your chest, feeling the rise of your hand over your torso. Count to 5 while you inhale, hold for 5, and then exhale for 5. Repeat until you feel a deep sense of calm.
4) Talk About Pleasure
Communication makes sex feel amazing. When you are in bed, you might assume that you already know what your partner wants—remember that talking about sex can be intimate and pleasurable all on its own. Maybe they enjoy something you have never tried.
5) Pamper each other
Focus on your partner. Give sexual pleasure to them. Talk dirty to them by telling them what you like, how good they feel, and how much you love them. Listen to their moans and respond with comforting words of affirmation. Remember that sex is not just about orgasm: sex can be slow and soft, too.
6) Release stress
Being present for sex is crucial to its enjoyment. Stress can negatively affect your ability to be present, feel turned on, and enjoy sex. About 85% of the population experienced decreased sexual desire when under stress. For nearly everyone, stress reduces your ability to enjoy sexual pleasure of any kind.
Try taking a bath or shower together, meditating, or trying an exercise before you make love. This might be a good opportunity for an erotic massage. Ease some tension away by using body lotion and focusing on each other’s erogenous zones. This helps release endorphins and relax both partners.
7) Don't forget foreplay!
Foreplay is not an appetizer to the main event. It is also more than just a physical warm-up for you and your partner, it's mental and emotional too! Sending a suggestive text to your partner or making a sexy comment to them at a different time of the day could prepare the two of you mentally for intimacy.
However, if your partner has a vulva, slowly warming them up is important. After all, most people with vulvas will need 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Or a combination of stimuli to feel immense pleasure.
8) Give gifts of time, not presents
Sometimes it is tiresome to think about new ways to surprise your partner. This time, try making yourself as available as possible to your partner. Time, energy, and attention can make for some of the most memorable experiences.
If you two often have to rush or squeeze in sex together, try taking some time to relax and pay less attention to time passing. This is about sharing the moment with your person, not about how packed you can make your schedule.
9) Spice it up with something new
Sexual desire and arousal thrive off novelty, so if you often do it in the same way over and again, try switching it up. It does not need to be drastic. You can change location, position, or even clothing.
10) Show your love
Think about what your partner really appreciates you doing. Maybe it's something you don’t usually have the time to do. Take advantage of the holiday to make time for it.
Show affection could be completing a project you know your partner is invested in. Or, it could be helping out with a difficult task that has been left unattended. Showing that you are thinking about your partner and their needs shows how much you care and make the sex even hotter. That feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction can lead to a distraction and resentment-free bedroom!
Want an expert's help with your sex life? Try the Lover app's self-guided course, "Driving Up Desire." Download it here to get started.